Taste

Sat in VIP with Jean Christophe Novelli, Nick Nairn, ex-rugby players, Charlottes, Taras, Kensington-On-The-Horses, people who shop in Harvey Nicks and other fellow freeloading bastards like me.

Dominik Diamond was outside the fence.

When the sun is out, like most festivals, this fest really works. When it ain't it could be a sucker.

The Deuchars IPA was on sample as was their monthly special "Forbidden Fruit" (flavoured with Passion Fruit). I really enjoyed the latter this evening.

But in VIP they were topping up our flutes with the complimentary champers. Sensibly and, some would say, true to form, I'd misplaced my wee flute and had the French waiters top up my IPA plastic tumbler instead (cannae take him anywhere).

The Kensington-On-The Horses crack me up. The men were trying to out-sports-jacket each other. The women were trying to out-shade each other: "My fucking shades are much bigger than hers" they must've thought - jeez, like flying bloody saucers. And when they need to get past folks and get to the canapes tray they are so pushy..... "Excuse me, pardon I, could I just get through....." Their ned-like behaviour would be ghastly if they weren't so polite about it.

2 hours in and the champers was no longer free. It was £50 a bottle or £10 a flute. The canapes were tanned and the dishes were charged at their "crown" prices.

Time for a sharp exit and a quarter pounder wi cheese from the Gold Sea.

You can take the boy outta Leith....