the slightly longer way across

The different platform, strange seating and lack of ponce class should have alerted us as much as the not-quite-on-the-quarter-hour departure time that the train we'd forsaken a chance to get a nice coffee at Waverley to catch was the non-express to Glasgow Central stopping at the back of beyond rather than the usual 45-minutes-to-Queen-Street but by the time we hit Longstone it was too late to escape and the quieter train and avoidance of the need to scuttle through Oh Fuck It's Friday In Glasgow Town Centre would possibly be worth the doubled journey time. We've been on the longer train a couple of times before (usually by mistake) and it does pass through mildly nicer scenery than the normal train including the bricktastic post-industrial mill-ness of the approach to Glasgow set to a sunset best viewed from outside a train but nice nonetheless. There was only one shouty mobile-phone woman to turn round and glare at and only one set of stupidly-dressed children wearing their own weight in slap and taking pictures of themselves with their mobiles with the flash on detracting from the enjoyment of the journey. As we pulled into Central the on-the-hour quickish train to Ayr was pulling away leaving us with half an hour before the train which would take fifteen minutes longer. We bought an idiot-burger and chips in order to blend in, a wise move considering the party atmosphere in the only carriage with space featuring friendly-but-rough-sounding Prestwickians rasping bonhomically at themselves and the toddler they carried and a woman who fell asleep as the train left and then didn't wake up until Troon despite everyone who went past having to nudge her feet out of the aisle whereupon she sleepily/drunkly exclaimed that she was going to Paisley. Hopefully staying on the train and begging it to turn round and become the last train of the evening from Ayr back to Glasgow worked out for her as she didn't look awake enough to perform the necessary manoeuvres to find and catch a Paisley-bound public omnibus.

Despite the lateness of our arrival we were coerced into watching the wedding video with the in-laws; I'd been wary of the idea from the start, especially after seeing the first-day-with-Windows-Movie-Maker cheesy-wipe-heavy style on the in-law-chosen videographer's website and especially after seeing the suggested background music on the form supplied which let us select our own (I thought asking for the Gomez cover of The Way You Do The Things You Do in place of the Ronan Fecking Keating version on his suggestion-list was a nice subtle way of suggesting that his suggested tracklist was bobbins) though despite selecting as many tracks as required for the selected package he had still found an excuse to bung in some hideous Muzak-style MIDI-powered filler in a couple of places and could really do with attending the Inappropriate Font Usage 101 course it would be in the public interest of all humanity for someone to provide. Fortunately he kept the cheese-wipes (including the ripple effect as featured on the website [and some which were even worse]) for the video-still section at the end. Amusingly he'd included a little letter in our copy mentioning some form of wedding video provider awards and respectfully wondering if we might nominate him for them. Maybe if he keeps the project files from previous jobs and would be willing to re-compile our disc using only the specified music, keeping the wipes simple or absent, using only screen-friendly and dignified fonts and burning onto a single double-layer disc rather than two DVDs-5.