Peppercorns

Nasty, icy ones-the first "snow" of the season.

Hey, anyone heard this story before?

The husband is broke, desperate and unscrupulously decides to hire a hit man to do his wife in, but not before he takes out a hefty life insurance policy on her. He meets the hit man in a bar and introduces himself as Ralph. The hit man refuses to give his real name and asks to simply be called Artie. The hit man agrees to do the job and quotes the husband a hefty $5000 fee. The husband, being broke, takes out his wallet and shows the hit man that he has one dollar in his pocket and meekly offers it up, along with his word that he would pay the fee after the life insurance pays out. Incredibly, the hit man accepts the dollar and they shake hands.

The following day, the hit man follows the wife into Safeway (grocery store) and there, in the produce isle, he strangles her. Unbeknown to him, the store manager sees this happening on one of the store security cameras and comes running to the woman's aid. Alas, it's too late. The hit man, panicked that there is now a witness to his heinous crime, does the unthinkable and strangles the store manager too. What he didn't realize is that she pushed the alarm button before leaving her office and it isn't long before the police show up, overpower him and haul him off.

So sad and unnecessary. The next day, the headline in the newspaper reads:
















ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A DOLLAR AT SAFEWAY

Wait, wait, I'll just say it: g-r-o-a-n


Update on the neighbor dog situation: after my former neighbor, the landlord, notified his renters of the neighbors' concerns (bless him, he cited "all" the neighbors as the plaintiffs) they are keeping the pooch inside and someone is coming home at lunch every day to let him out and play with him, so the longest he's ever inside is about six hours. They have promised to build an appropriate shelter but so far there's no evidence of that.