Company's Coming

I know, it should say "Happy Thanksgiving", but if you can find a store front window anywhere that says that right now, I'll rush right down and take it's picture! This is yesterday's store front blip up close!

I went back because of something my awesome sister said recently. She told me that Mother Comfort missed seeing the Christmas displays going up around town and suggested we video them or photograph them. I toured the town taking photos this evening and we would like to make a DVD slide show to share with her tomorrow on Thanksgiving.

I began to see the bottom of my desk today, which gave me time to make a couple of phone calls. A few people were on my mind today who I knew had suffered significant loss recently and might need to talk. When someone has lost a child or a family member just before the holidays, it can send such deep emotion through them, layer upon layer, that "saying" the right thing may be hardly noticed, while letting them know you were thinking of them and just listening as they talk through what has been on their mind can be exactly what is needed. During the holiday rushing around, stopping and listening is the most difficult thing to do for many of us (and often for me), yet more highly valued than any food item that could be prepared in tough times. An active, attentive listener is worth more than all the Christmas decorations in an entire town when a heart is sick with grief. Just allowing someone the chance to talk all around, up and over the flood of memories, regrets, 'what if's', 'why them's', 'why me's', and 'what now's' of loss with full acceptance and patience, sends a resounding message that says, 'I'm here with you, you're not alone'.

It was a great privilege to be a listener today, although I will admit, sharing their grief did bring a tear or two to my own eyes, as well as that unsettling feeling that I could never do enough to take away such pain. While the pain will change, fade and become something fruitful and productive for them again if they are able to work through it, today it seemed all consuming for them, yet they pressed on, trying to make reasonable plans for how they will share Thanksgiving tomorrow and honor the memory of their loved ones.

Some grief is not from the loss of someone, but rather a chronic dysfunctional relationship that makes being 'home' feel unbearably lonely. The nagging feeling that all the lovely images of family and holidays on TV apply to everyone else, but not to you. That was the case for one person who shared their story with me today. When you think through the challenges of a relationship a million different ways and come to the same dead end each and every time, because 'acceptance' is far, far away and you just want peace to enter the relationship but can't control another person and they just don't want to improve the relationship, your heart breaks, then breaks again and again.

Yes, I have company coming. I'm blessed. I have peace in my heart and in relationships, I'm grateful. I'm not cooking (I'm ecstatic!!). In fact, there are a great many things I'm not doing, because I want to have time to listen. I may cook again another year. It was wonderful to pop in on my mom (grammapat) and know that she is taking it a little easier this year too. We'll all enjoy each other and the Community Dinner we attend, and hopefully, we'll all have a little more time to listen to what each other is saying, and I will say more than one prayer for those I can not put my arms around on this holiday, but, instead, my heart.