The Prodigy

On the eve of my 500th, I thought it'd be nice to share what was, effectively, my first ever blip, at the age of four. In our schoolbooks, we had to regularly write about our lives and experiences, and illustrate each episode not with a photograph, but with a drawing. This one says simply: I liked the frog.

You can see the literary talent even at that young age. It's a gripping narrative; at first you're unsure of my feelings towards amphibians, before the truth is suddenly revealed in a pulsating twist. Unfortunately, the artwork doesn't quite match the high standard of the prose; in fact, it looks rather like the demented scribblings of a psychiatric inmate. I think I'm depicted on the right hand side, but fuck alone knows what's going on to the left. It could be a frog, or it could be the sack of Constantinople. I think you have to bring your own interpretation to the piece.

Either way, I was quite clearly a genius back then. I wonder where it all went wrong.