Catch up

Pretty much Non journal day, if you get bored easily no point in reading any further today, skip back to yesterday's entry, its much more interesting.

I have spent my alloted journal writing time catching up on the past couple of days events.

Half day at work today and nothing exciting happens apart from the guy we had at work that couldn't and wouldn't pay his extensively large outstanding bill but was phoning from his annual winter holiday in Tenerife.

I also had a nice lady on the phone named Billy Jean, and by way of apology she said "my mother was into the jacksons"

My body is so sore today, it feels like someone has winched me up a tree with my arms above my head, gaffa taped my wrists together and then worked me over on my ribs and lower body, must have been that new abdonimal excercise I was shown at the gym last night. No, not the squatting position before you filty lot come to your own conclusions.

Got home and played with the children for a while, wrote a little, then read on the tinterweb that not two days later Clarkson has caused further offence with the following gaff. He has gone all a bit Prince Philip recently, you would think that he would be keeping a low profile after having to publicly apologise so recently.

But since I dont have anything interesting, intelligent or funny to say today, here is him putting his foot in it again. I will probably get sued or something for plagirism but hey ho nonny nonny no. Bothered, he can have half of my current wealth which is currently £60.62, most of which is in my petrol tank and he will have to syphone it out with a tube.

"I have the deepest sympathy for anyone whose life is so mangled and messed up that they believe death's icy embrace will be better. However, every year around 200 people decide that the best way to go is by hurling themselves in front of a speeding train. In some ways they are right. This method has a 90% success rate and it's extremely quick.

"However, it is a very selfish way to go because the disruption it causes is immense. And think what it's like for the poor train driver who sees you lying on the line and can do absolutely nothing to avoid a collision."

Later in the article the presenter referred to those who choose to jump in front of trains as "Johnny Suicide" and argues that following a death, trains should carry on their journeys as soon as possible.

He added: "The train cannot be removed nor the line re-opened until all of the victim's body has been recovered. And sometimes the head can be half a mile away from the feet. Change the driver, pick up the big bits of what's left of the victim, get the train moving as quickly as possible and let foxy woxy and the birds nibble away at the smaller, gooey parts that are far away or hard to find."

Muppet. Maybe the train drivers will be members of Unison and join the Clarkson protest. It does however give the railways a better excuse for not running on time that leaves on the line.

If you have read this far into today's substandard journal entry then you deserve a joke.

I was in Dobies garden centre the other day and Connie complained that I was the laziest man she had ever met. Well, I dont mind telling you, I nearly fell out the wheelbarrow.