Hurricane Bawbag emergency kit

1. I was kind of aware that there was 'weather' on the way, but because I've stopped doing the radio in the morning (blood pressure and ranting reasons) I wasn't quite prepared for what I stepped out into. Carnage, sirens and public transport freaking out right on the doorstep. Twitter is asking for a name for the 'hurricane'.

2. Slightly sceptical about the reaction, I walk up to work. In the 20 minutes that takes, I'm starting to think there might be something in this. When I reach the door I'm pretty sure the forecast is right. Folk are already talking about leaving, but I plan to stay til upholstery tonight so hunker down.

3. Twitter decides, the hurricane is christened 'Bawbag'. I preferred Anne-Marie, but the majority wins. So within minutes upholstery is cancelled. As are all our meetings, all the pantos and our own show this evening. The afternoon is spent arranging cancellations, following the weather online - and right outside our window - and planning on how to get home. Glasgow is shut.

4. The last time I was in a hurricane - a real one this time - was in South Carolina a few years ago. We all got evacuated and went to this very cool guy called Bill's place out of town. Bill owned a restaurant or two and had to empty his freezers, so for a few days we ate like kings and sat in a hottub drinking white russians. Hurricanes that are warm are much, much more enjoyable.

5. Bawbag is still blowing as I type, the pictures look astonishing, it's pretty epic. Luckily I have my emergency kit. And a packet of caramel digestives. All I need is a White Russian...