Don't blame the dog, or the moon

Probably most people wouldn't stop to examine a stick covered in some yucky gunge but I know a lowly life form when I see one and this is Fuligo septica, the dog vomit slime mould. It likes the cool wet weather we've been having and I'm delighted to find it again, feasting on some rotten wood.

Slime moulds are one of the most peculiar and fascinating organisms that exist. They are not fungi, or lichen, or algae,  or slug eggs or indeed vomit, although they could easily be mistaken for any of those. Slime mould exists as an amorphous mass of protoplasm called a plasmodium. A plasmodium can move towards and engulf its food source like an amoeba, following the shortest course towards its nutriment (usually dead wood). Its unappealing appearance and creeping  progress sometimes gives rise to consternation and even panic on the part of those who don't know what it is. Mucilago crustacea often appears on wood chips in gardens, giving the impression that an unfortunate animal has had a severe bilious attack. Perfectly healthy dogs have been whisked off to the vet for examination. Police and firemen have been called to deal with slime invasions only to find that hosing the stuff away is unsuccessful - it will quickly re-group. As a result, slime moulds have, like the tubifex worms I recently blipped, been associated with urban legends and science fiction horrors such as  The Blob.

There are many slime moulds and they have attracted considerable attention on account of their unusual properties. One expert, John Bonner, has written that slime moulds are no more than a bag of amoebae encased in a thin slime sheath, yet they manage to have various behaviors that are equal to those of animals who possess muscles and nerves with ganglia -- that is, simple brains. On the forest floor they may resemble travelling pancakes but they can also climb, separate into strands and re-coalesce.

Slime moulds can be of different colours and textures and sizes and are often described in terms to their resemblance to food. The plasmodium of dog vomit is said to reach the size of a pizza - and may look somewhat similar, or perhaps more like scrambled egg when it turns yellow as it matures. In fact, it is collected and eaten in Mexico where it is called caca de luna, moon shit.

Don't be put off, these are organisms are as amazing as lions or elephants in their way and they deserve to be studied.
Here's a beautiful piece of time-lapse film, and here you can see slime mould 'solving' a maze puzzle.
There are some great photographs and text here,  and here Tom Volk  gives his reassuring response to the desperate pleas he's received from slime-stricken gardeners over the years.

Slime moulds rock!