Day 345 / 365 - The point of Xmas?!

So we have Xmas lights this year. Still, I'm not taking part as I don't see the point in it.

Ever since I found out Santa wasn't real a long time ago, my childhood dreams were shattered. There is no point in Xmas. To celebrate something which probably never even existed anyway.

I'll celebrate birthdays, engagements, weddings, wakes, friendships, love, important events in friends lives, hard work of others, goodbyes, leaving parties, etc REAL IMPORTANT THINGS TO CELEBRATE but Xmas... why? If I want to thank someone, I'll thank them with presents when it's due. I shouldn't have to wait for Xmas.

People have said to me this year, it's about being with family at Xmas, but I've spent the last 18 years with my family every single day. I think I'd quite like to get away please and start my own journey in life and find my own special people to enjoy and celebrate Xmas with. It's just not the same anymore, I'm not a child. My Dad reads this photo journal... so sorry if you read this, but I'm not a child anymore. Xmas is not the same.

...

Have been having a 'can't wait to live in my own house some day' moment all this week, watching all my friends at Uni, flat sharing, moving out to their own places. I can't wait to enjoy that. I'd really like a cute little modern house in the Surrey Hills in a smallish community, with fields and hills within walking distance, to take Coco out and go exploring. I know I'm still setting up my source of income with photography as I know how hard it's going to be with costs these days... and I have all my college and Uni auditions coming up in Jan/Feb now so I'm excited yet nervous. I really hope I get into the places I want to go to so badly. I really hope everything turns out as planned. I just can't wait to get out there and start my own life and see the world without parents on my shoulder, checking if I'm okay constantly. It's been a rocky year, so many injuries, so many set backs in my training, so many people telling me to give up on my performance dreams. Only my teachers and friends have supported me through it and believed in me that I can achieve what I have always wanted to do, thank you! It's harder as those people are not around so much any longer to look up to, but I'll always remember.

Here's to 2012, and I really hope it's a good one.