The Lobby Plants

My doctor wanted to see his patients on a Saturday...so...like a good employee/driver...we (my wife went, too) were waiting at 8:48 a.m. We are thinking about making a movie about an old guy driving an older guy around. Call it...Driving Mr. Daisy Poinsetta.

After a few months of going to the hospital, and waiting in the halls for Doctor to see his patients...I have made these few observations.

1. The doctors seem to be getting younger...the nurses seem to be getting older.

2. Doctors and nurses shouldn't chew gum. 4 residents were following a doctor, and all were chewing. With the long lab coats on...and with all nodding their agreement...they looked like sheep chewing their cud.

3. Despite all the warnings...I can't tell you how many doctors and nurses I've seen cough or sneeeze right into their hand...instead of into the inside of their elbow.

4. Don't even think about using the staff restroom. Pee in your pants if you have to...but...DO NOT ENTER THAT ROOM!!!

5. Scrubs...this week I've seen every color in the rainbow, flowers, circles and squares, bubbles, Tinkerbelles, Scooby-doos (Who can possibly like that dog?), teddy bears, butterflies, puppies, snowmen, clowns with balloons, circus elephants on stools (Really?), pine trees, hearts, Tweety-birds (I tawt I taw a puddy-tat), Hawaiin postcards, pink ribbons, and Mickey Mouses. WHEW!!! And...don't even get me started on the footwear.

6. Nurses talk too loud. 2 conversations I wish that I hadn't heard. A. "After a long discussion...we're trying to get a central picc line into her. We either need to lay her down for an hour, or call the IV team. Me and Fran were this close to getting into it. That bitch thinks she knows everything." (I wish I could have seen them fight!!) B. "JESUS CHRIST!!! Do we have to wait all day for the freakin test results?" (I don't think it was a prayer.) There are always eyes and ears...watching and listening.

7. Seeing the class system. The doctors look down on the nurses. The nurses look down on the nursing students. The students look down on the nursing assistants (no more LPN's). The assistants look down on the techs. The techs look down on the housekeepers. And...finally...the housekeepers look down on the old guy wheeling the doctor around in his wheelchair. OUCH!! Can't we all just have the tiniest bit of respect for our fellow workers? The hospital and the world would be a better place.

My vent has come and went. AND TO THINK MY WIFE SAYS I AM NOT OBSERVANT!! HA!!