Parfum du Chien

It must be that Christmas thing the humans do, again!

First my bed was torn from me, thrown in the washing machine, tumble dried and returned smelling like a bloody tart's boudoir, pause to rethink that bit?..

THEN, just after a huge romp through the hedges and muddy bits after rabbits and the odd fox I was seized from behind by himself, carried, not too decorously into Mrs Booty's bathroom and drowned like the proverbial rat, swamped in some gunk called Head & Shoulders, then hosed down like a car. Meanwhile HE, my supposed friend and secret pash, played around with my buttons and even made sure my lady bits were clean. The utter indignity.

Never mind. Tomorrow, their big day, I know where that secret stash of badger poo is. My time will come. :-)))