Spider Cactus Jack and the beanstalk

Spider cactus jack lived a lonely life of solitude , and as a result of this loneliness wasn,t afraid to warm his mind with chatter , to himself of course , as he wound around the scolding lives of others.
Nobody could see he was talking to himself and annoyingly enough most thought he was intentionally trying to aggravate those around with his "constant bickering"
and disrepute at the whole show of the world.
One day Jack got bored of all the arguments , with himself , and those that argued in and against his favour.He decided he would visit the local farmers market where on arrival , most likely by coincidence , he noticed others bickering and arguing about the day.Sidling up to a seed factory , upon by which stood a man who was tethering his goat to a wooden pole , he made a small cough to wake the mans attentions from his duties.Although jack was not sure or really confident enough to understand why he was making such a prowse effort to distract the man from what he could only see as , well! , his job.
"Seeds!" , decidedly enough
he said.Plain faced with no frills .
"seeds!"
The farmer remarked
"Yes , that is what i sell , seeds!" ,
with absolouetly no need for added enthusiasm.
"What can i have?"
"All i have left are these beanstalk seeds! In fact you can have them for free!"

Spider cactus jack takes the beans from farmer thinking that this was a good thing as he had no money anyway , and to have to explain what anyway meant to the farmer in such a fashion would be twice in need of effort and half as rude as he might have thought himself.Skirting the ground around him with a toe through his sandal , he bid the farmer farewell and marched triumphantly out of the market and all the way back down the hill to his aunty Bessies house.
"Did you get my tomatoes , jack?"
"yes!"
he shouted , although she was deaf , didn,t even like tomatoes and was most likely fidgeting in the upstairs room trying to make sense of the day.
Outside he went with a trowel and a dance to bury his seeds in the ground near the hill base , behind the trees where no one could see them.
Patting the soil down , he smiled before skirting his toe through his sandal , on the ground , around in front of him.Then off to the house with a skip to eat his warmed broth before the hearth and then to sleep for the night.

Next morning spider cactus jack got up and first thing , took a walk up to the spot where he,d planted his seeds and to his astonishment there standing was a large beanstalk stretching up into the clouds above.
"Time , i have plenty of " jack thought
So up the beanstalk like a rat in a maze , winding around the leaves and stalks as they grew more and more twisted into the unseen.This fact making his scurrying more frenetic and anticipated.
At the last curve , his velocity spits him out into a bleak grey world with swirling clouds , high winds , swaying trees and tumbleweed blowing around him .The howling of the wind is almost too much to bear so Spider Cactus Jack pulls his hat over his ears and ties it down , skirts a toe through his sandal at the ground in front and parades off into the newly found bleak world without a thought to his deaf aunt in her perplexed serenity , back in the little wooden hut , down on the ground , at the bottom of the hill , his home!
A long way now from his quest....................