infrequent stasis

i've been for a walk to find fresh coffee, needless to say i was unsuccesful.

i strolled around familiar places with unfamiliar things happening...a vintage motorcycle run for one.

on new years day 2011, i decided that on that day i would stop buying newspapers to add to my collection of new years day newspapers. today i was able to carry out that decision.

i watched fireworks from sydney and dubai on the telegraph website earlier. i got quite upset at the bland intensity of the coverage of the barrage of light on a scale that i find too difficult to deal with. the footage made me want to cry, i don't really understand why. it could be connected with my rejection of the heightened euphoria of the eve of the new year and the heightened optimism that becomes unsustainable a few hours into the new year.

i feel that i have an idea of where i'm going in 2012, a sense of being, a sense of what i want to do and last night i had no reason to pretend i was part of something bigger.

so today, it feels like everything is in pause mode and the forward momentum is close yet not possible today.

so instead, it's a late breakfast, a late lunch and something else as yet undefined and i can be relaxed in the undefined today, as today is a stasis, an upright not leaning into the wind of effort.

a day free of improper unneeded historical forces and feeling good because of it.