Feeding Station

This is me. At the Feeding Station. Nursing a hot drink, a headache (medicated with sudafed and paracetamol), and a baby who doesn't want to let go any time soon. I have most important things to hand: laptop, camera (hah - like I've managed or remembered to take any photos at all today, hence the feeding shot!), coffee, phone, inhaler (temporary measure to get me through the worst of this wretched cough).

It was difficult getting this shot. Point, focus, click and hope. And then repeat a dozen or more times until you get the focus right (quick flick to manual focus to keep that focal distance) and then yet another dozen or so until you get the right things in the frame. And then check to make sure Charley hasn't popped off, and nothing I don't want showing is showing.... And I couldn't ask Steve to help because if he pulls the trigger he won't let me blip the result!!


Up this morning and straight off out to the doctors' for Charley's 6 week check. (30 minutes from bed to front door. Impressive, especially by my standards!!) The doctor we saw seemed really familiar, and I struggled to place her ... eventually I decided that she reminded me of one of the mums at the Little Fishes group we go to! I must remember to ask if her mum is a GP... Anyway the doctor was very happy with Charley, beamed when she saw me carry him in in the sling. Chatting about family life, talking about Ben and the differences between the births, about nursing - and when I mentioned that we cheated a bit as Ben was still nursing so he would get the first bit of milk as the fat was still being dislodged and then Charley would get the nicely fatty milk, she grinned and declared it an excellent bit of engineering! Think we may have hit gold with our paediatric-specialist doctor at the surgery :) Also got a lovely encouraging metaphorical pat on the back from her with regards to Ben and his reaction to Charley's arrival - Ben is secure enough in his attachment to us that he is able to vocalise when he's not happy about a situation. He's not scared to say if he's upset - he doesn't just internalise things. He knows that we care and that his feelings are valid! Anyway back to Charley - about 25th centile for height, and a little over 25th for weight. And he's getting chunky legs too :)

Got the stairs and landing measured up for carpet this afternoon! Still a bit pie in the sky but we fell in love with some carpet before Christmas and thought why not, let's see what the damage might be. Well.... a little over a grand!! Guess we won't be doing that just yet then :) Need to get it decorated first really though, before we get carpet. And it's not exactly high on the priority list!

Ben and Steve helped me build our new shelves this afternoon as well. Ben helped with the first bit, and when Charley woke up Steve took over. I guess I managed about 70% of the job by myself which I'm pleased about - without using the wrong screws OR losing a non-existent screw ;) Just got to organise them now, and try and empty the old shelves so we can take them apart at last. They have been temporary for about 6 years now, and almost survived two house moves! Slowly slowly slowly getting things sorted and organised, getting the house in order. Feels good.

Sang Ben to sleep again this evening. That was after I threw his toothbrush down in frustration and stormed off downstairs to swap with Steve who was holding a crying Charley... Steve is getting a LOT of opportunities to bond with Ben at the moment - I just wish it wasn't as a result of me either not being able to respond to his needs, or because I get frustrated with him so quickly. Glad we made friends again though. That restores me :)

Did a lot of reading as well today - I read a lot of blogs at the moment as I sit feeding Charley, and so many of them are encouraging or thought-provoking. I do deliberately seek out the ones that resonate with me rather than irritate me, I should say! Today I have read this and also all the blog posts it links to about child development. I love reading and find all this fascinating and thought provoking and there were a lot of ideas I can see if I can use to change my own attitude and how I respond and react and interact with both Ben and Charley as they grow.


Two quotes to finish with today. Don't know where the first originates but I like them both a lot.


"Oh give me patience when wee hands
Tug at me with their small demands
And give me gentle and smiling eyes
Keep my lips from hasty replies
And let not weariness, confusion, or noise
Obscure my vision of life's fleeting joys
So when, in years to come my house is still
No bitter memories its rooms may fill."


"Courage does not always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day that says,
I will try again tomorrow."
Mary Anne Radmacher