Always Watching

This was painted by a friend of mine when we were in college together. It hangs in my office, watching me. Always.

Many people have commented on it saying it looks like a penis (Dr. Freud would make a good living on that person) an unfinished face, a portrait of 'terror' or 'fear', and the list goes on and on.

I see this each day and am reminded that I MUST be real with people. The man who painted this was going through a very dark time in his life. Although he would say that it is just a painting, he lies.

He was suicidal, yet always had a smile on his face. I found out that he had checked himself into a local hotel to kill himself. I called the police and had him removed. Our friendship ended* due to my violating his freedom and wish to die.

Even if I ask someone how they are doing, I have to be serious about my question and wonder how they are REALLY doing. You never know.

Some say that it makes my office seem rather dark, mysterious and unprofessional. What do I say to that? I remind them they are welcome to leave...right after I ask them how they are doing of course!

When I see it, I am reminded we ALL wear masks...sometimes begging others to help us take them off.

Some days I want to put on a mask, but I think they make me look fat.


*He did make contact with me 15 years later and apologized for his anger towards me. Understandable of course. He is doing well, has a great family, currently deployed to Africa in the US Navy and we are good friends again.