Virgins

I popped over to see my old mate Dracula at his new art deco pad in Liverpool today. You know, he sssaid (he has problems with the letter S - it's the fangs) what 'sssucks' about the new pad apart from the gloomy cloudsss and the wagnerian music that accompanies me everywhere is the complete lack of virginsss. Yea good luck with that mate I said, finding a Virgin in Liverpool is harder than not finding a pie shop in Wigan. After a few pints of rather fruity red we sacrificed an old goat to Satan.
Hey, look on the bright side I said, in Liverpool you will never want for loads of old goats.