Panna Cotta

Still hadn't heard anything from the job this morning. Today my distraction was making Canneloni and Passionfruit Panna Cotta. Meanwhile I listened to Radio 4 which blasted into my ear the other 2 million miserable unemployed people that im up against. Although it did have a section about people creating their own unemployment support groups which made me feel slightly more normal. However i still ended up getting myself in a tizz.

Not only is job searching the most miserable activity but I would go so far to say the process of getting an interview is worst.... Silently thinking about the shoes you will buy and how happy your mum will be when you pay her back that money..Deciding what notebook will go with feeling like a real person again... the actual interview where you come close to clutching at their hems and begging..the torture you put yourself through when all you can think of is the crap things you said and what a blithering idiot you are....the continuous waiting and suspecting you don't have the job...the sudden thought that you might have it and life would be perfect if you did. I didn't get it.

I underestimated how lonely and frustrating this would be. I hope tomorrow will be different and I can be more positive but it's not easy. Least I've got Panna Cotta.