Worst Nightmare

If there is a hell tailor-made for each sinner, this would be mine.

I stuck my head through the access hatch under the house and saw lacing webs across every space, joist, pile and vent. I kept looking just long enough to make sure the foundations were reasonably sound, then got the hell out. Spiders and me really don't see eye to eye. Or should that be eye to eyes. Brrrrrr.

We have to put in underfloor insulation but that's someone else's job. No bloody way I'm getting under there.

No

Bloody

Way