Local news...ah have a meme

Yes, a meme. I used to be quite fond of them, and it is the eve of Friday and I am bored and do not wish to do any work, so I thought...well... have a meme.
A long one.

1. What swear word do you use the most?
Oh, the F word, without doubt. And some nasty blasphemous Italian words. "Oh B*gg**y bum" figures largely too.

2. Which person do you mail the most?
Mailed. As of today, not any more. Remaining recipients of intensive mailage? People I work for.

3. What time is your alarm clock set to?
6.55. Add on the 3 ten-minute snoozes and you get what time I actually do get up.

4. Do you still remember the first person you kissed?
Yes. It was such a shock. Swore never to do it again.

5. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?
Take, if a picture was really needed. I am the least photogenic person I know and will not spoil other people's shots.

6. What was the last movie you watched?
Properly? Without falling asleep? The Draughtsman's Contract. I haven't had a chance to watch a film properly since. I am having enough trouble keeping up with the iPlayer.

7. What is the first random track on your mp3 player?
One-sided 12" single by a top ten artist. Oh, the sheer sweet poetry bitter irony of random iTunes.

8. When was the last time you had Starbucks?
A few Saturdays ago. I didn't think I would like it and the coffee wasn't that good, but the circumstances overrode all of that.

9. Can you whistle?
Sure. Don't ask if I can do it tunefully though.

10. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Depends whether they're coming or going...

Oh look, another question...

11. What are you looking forward to?
At the moment? Oh I really don't know. Getting over stuff. Sad innit.

12. Do you own any band t-shirts?
A few. New Model Army t-shirt from back when Will's mother was a boy, a Zappa one that dates back to about the same time and which I love with far more passion than one should dedicate to an inanimate object. Plus some others, acquired randomly.

13. Is anyone in love with you?
They said they were. Probably they weren't, not really. You should maybe ask them.

14. What was the last song you heard?
See above. Had to listen. But very quietly...shhhhh. Big swearing innit. Normally I play it in the car, when I am on my own and can sing along loudly.

15. Last time you cried?
About 10 minutes ago. You mean proper big, with sobs and snot and all the associated moist unpleasantness? About 10 minutes ago.

16. Are you on a desktop computer or a laptop?
Laptop. Always.

17. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
I want one more tattoo and I shall probably have it done soon.

18. Would you ever date a girl/guy covered in tattoos?
Why not? It's actually the notion of dating a person that I find more disturbing than tattoos.

19. What did you do before this?
Emailed someone about not seeing them or contacting them again.

20. Do you eat breakfast daily?
No. I don't eat when I get up. I have coffee. Lots of coffee.

21. Do you use sarcasm?
More often than would seem to be appropriate.

22. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
206.

23. Are you picky about spelling and grammar?
Ha ha! I'm just plain picky. But yes, bad spelling and grammar irk me. Textspeak and LOLs are what really get my goat up, but don't let that stop you...

24. Do you get along better with the same sex or the opposite sex?
To the extent I get along with anyone, about equal I think. I don't actually get along with anyone at all.
Ask anyone who knows me. Best description of me of late: "You are strangely strange, but oddly normal..." It comes from a song, but other people have said it applies.

25. Do you sleep on your side?
On my left side. Curled up in a foetal position, with my right arm wrapped around my neck in a kind of self-hug/self-strangulation position. I don't usually move from there either.

26. Do you watch the news?
When allowed to by The Child. She will wait until the end of one 15-minute bulletin before starting with the " Can we say goodbye to the nice lady now?" and reaching for the remote.

27. How did you get one of your scars?
Almost flying through a windscreen. What look like frown lines between my eyebrows are actually glass cuts.

28. What is the last thing you purchased?
A t-shirt as a gift, which the recipient didn't actually like.

29. What is your blood-type?
A +. Oh look, does that mean I excel at something? Oh, hurrah!

30. Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?
Oh, no one. No one at all. It would drive me mental bats crazy and I couldn't bear that much physical contact!

31. How many chairs at the dining room table?
4. There are 6 but I am using 2 of them as wardrobes!

32. Which is the best Spice Girl?
Mekon Spice.

33. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?
Want to pee because I couldn't. Bladders are such contrary body parts.

34. What's your favourite kind of gum?
I am not a gum fan. I cannot stand people chewing at me, especially when they commit the cardinal sin of smacking lips and making noise. Major ewwww. However, I do like the taste of cinammon gum (proper chewing conditions apply).

35. T or F: All's fair in love and war?
Love: not fair
War: not fair.

Guess that's a big fat hairy no then?

36. Do you have a crush on anyone?
Always.

37. Do you know how to use some words correctly, but not know the meaning?
Undoubtedly. I like to look up the meanings though. There's safety in definitions.

38. Do you like to sleep?
Once I am there, sleeping, I am sure I enjoy it immensely; I am certainly sure I was enjoying it when it is time to wake up.

39. Do you know the song Total Eclipse of the Heart?
Yes and probably most of the words. But we don't need to discuss that further.

40. What's something you've always wanted?
How long have we got? No, just kidding. Wanting things is something that changes every day, with every thing that gets flashed up before our eyes on tv screens and the interwebs. With everything we realise we don't have, even if we know we don't need it. It isn't a what I have always wanted, it is a who. It never happened and will never happen, so although I accept that, a small corner of me will never stop wanting.

41. Do you have hairy legs?
Not especially. I am popping back to the waxing lady next week, though, as soon as she comes back from her hols.

42. Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake?
I love the ocean and water that moves. Water in lakes doesn't move, at least not perceptively, so it is a bit like swimming in a bath. I used to love swimming in a river not far from here: it was ice cold and full of trout, with little waterfalls that were just like natural spa massages. Lovely, it was. Now we just go to the pool or the good old Adriatic.

43. Do you wear a lot of black?
Hell yes. Give me any choice of colour as long as it is black.

44. Describe your hair:
Funny was the last thing someone said about it. Funny and in need of conditioner. Rebellious, strange and just plain uncooperative is what I think it is. Bit like me, really.

45. Do you have Entomophobia?
In some cases, yes.

46. Are you an adult?
Physically speaking, yes. Have been for years. I have been accused of being childish rather too much lately to make me feel comfortable. I need to look at that.

47. Where is/are your best friend(s)?
I don't have best friends. That is such a primary school concept.
One of my oldest, closest friends, next best thing to a brother, is in sunny Essex, another one is currently doing voluntary work in Africa, but we manage to speak most days and we wallow in each others respective bad fortunes or rejoice in each other's good days. That's what friends are about, isn't it?

48. Do you enjoy spending time with your mother?
Hahahahaha!!! Good lord, no. I hope never to have to spend time with her again. I have voluntarily declared myself parentless.

49. Are you a sugar freak?
Absolutely not. I am a chocolate addict. I have now got The Child instructed never to let me buy it. She is to try persuasion, threats, and then take it out of the trolley if I am still not listening. Ah, it's a sad day when I have to be regulated by an 8-yr-old, but I can't help myself otherwise. Sees chocolate, buys chocolate, eats chocolate. ALL the chocolate.

50. What sign are you?
Fish innit.