Belive. In Something.

Bear with me.

Today Spatial and Laughing and I went to an outdoor concert at which our stepbrother's band was playing. We had a wonderful time. It was great to see Brendan(stepbrother) in his element, doing what he loves.

It was also a very interesting experience for me. Brendan's band happens to be the worship band at his church. Usually, I wouldn't have thought twice about this fact, but this was the first time that I was on what I'm calling "the outside."

We were in the front row, because the three of us are front row kinds of people, especially when someone we know is in the band. They played both secular and worship songs, and when the worship selections began, I noticed that a whole new crowd was surfacing, making their way to the front row with their eyes closed and hands raised, faces to the sun. I realized that one year ago, I would have been one of those people. I would have been so enthralled by the Lord's presence that I, too, would be drifting to the front row.

But that was before the questions came.

And now I'm on the outside.

Looking in on what, to the outsider, looks ridiculous. The tornado of questions in my mind caused me to question the sincerity of the front-row praisers. Can they really feel His presence? Are they really being moved by the Spirit? Or are they doing this because they think it's what they should do? Because they're afraid that if they don't, that means that they aren't close to God? Did I feel God when I'd do that?

Then the tornado came to a screeching halt.

They believe.

They believe in this something, their something with all of their souls. And that. is all that matters.