Job Hunting Blues

So my dad has a theory that I think if I walk down the street people will just fall at my feet offering me jobs. This did happen to me once, but I acknowledge that it's not a normal state of affairs.

But I wish I could send applications like this one. I find writing the same banal pleasantries 1000 times a painfully uninteresting process and one where I know I'm not selling myself.

Is there an effective way of just saying 'honestly I can do this, just hire me and give me a shot.'