I am lost in translation

As usual, I am lost.
I do not know what am I looking everyday I woke up?
I do not know there are anyone waiting to see me or meet me everyday?
I do not what is my purpose of living on every day and moment?
I do not feel I am needed or belong to anywhere.
Today is the second days of being scam on the net and also the first time to drink for the week, I abandon myself to drink on week days but I made exception for today.
It's the forth days I havent seen you and I don't even know will you call or asking to see me. I only know you been out every nights but not with me.
You told me I am stupid, yes I know and I admitted to it.
You were testing out your latest comedy materials on stage the other night, telling the Mario joke to public. You also told me the audience do not like that joke. I wonder?I don't think that joke at all, not from the beginning.