Journey to nowhere

In local news Bertie Ottam, Chief Crime writer for the Mansfield Herald, reports of the Ghost Train seen heading towards Shirebrook only last night!!!!

"It was invisible" said one local

"I could hear the passionate screams" said another

"That was me" said another

"I can vouch for that," said her husband

"And I can," said a male friend knowingly

It turns out this is not the first time this Ghost train has not been spotted. Apparently it isn't spotted every single day.

Ms Sonia Tinker, local resident of 98 years said,

"What? I can't hear you. What? You want to put it where? What?"

Jonnie Oak, publican. Brighton, Whale & Anchor, said,

"I saw a ghost once. 5 foot 9. Quite white. A lot of smoke. Kept making ooh err noises. Put me on edge. Paid for its pint though."

My mother said,

"Take you shoes off."