Rules of Commuting

The rules of commuting appear to be:

1. Do not make eye contact with people you do not know

2. Do not talk to anyone that you do not know

3. When standing, leave your rucksack on your back and shuffle so that you knock the maximum number of people

4. Listen to loud music so that you can share the bass or the high pitched percussion with everyone

5. Do not open your packet of crisps/nuts fully, so that you have to make as much noise as you can while eating them - however you do not realise this because you are also following rule 4

6. Turn newspaper pages over with great gusto hence waking the people who are sleeping

7. Phone someone and tell them you are on a train so that you can share your experience with them

8. In the evening meet up with your normal travelling companions and drink large quantities of larger or wine and talk loudly.

This rule only appears to be followed by women with high pitched voices:

9. Sit with someone you know and talk complete drivel for the whole of the journey

10. When no one else has a signal on their mobiles, continue to talk rubbish to someone on yours

PS They changed the advertising at Bank underground station from this to this.

PPS I preferred the first

PPS These are the rules of commuting to London. Other major cities may have their own published rules