my own private spotlight

Sometimes things happen that make you secretly sit at home and shine the spotlight on yourself, your own vulnerability, your simple humanity, and the biology that merely makes you alive.

Don't get me wrong, I'm feeling positive - I've been down this road before and I know with certainty it leads to a dead end with a big wall blocking the end of it. But I fear my own stubborn nature will keep me clawing at the wall a while longer, yet in the anonymity of the stark spotlight I wonder 'Why do you keep doing this to yourself you utter idiot?'

I think I've got a bit lost and don't actually know what I want.

I think I need to decide, leave some dreams behind and hopefully stop feeling so lost. But then again - isn't being a bit lost what it's all about?

Listen to this - "walk away now, or you're going to start a war..."