Pip's blipped

I've blipped Pip. I'd like to do a lot more to Pip but my mum loves him too much and won't let me near him.

To say Pip is annoying is the biggest understatement known to man. He constantly, and I mean constantly, yaps.

I've just stood up to move the laptop from the table to my lap and have done so to a soundtrack of yap, yap, yap. My husband suffers more than me. He has the added annoyance of Pip following him wherever he goes in the house, yapping. I kid you not, it is incessant.

But as my mum often tells me "Don't complain to me, I never asked for him", and she's right. My brother bought him for her when her other dog went up to doggy heaven. I actually, along with my brother and my son, chose Pip from the litter. "We'll have that one" I said, oblivious to the years of ear-splitting yapping to come. I should have just said "Give me the devil-dog over there. The deceptively cute one who one day will actually make my ears bleed and reduce me to a quivering wreck. Oh, and you want £400? Pay up bruv, it's a bargain!"