Fancy a Good Time?

My driveway, looking like a track to nowhere, is a favourite parking place for many couples looking for a 'Blue WKD' time.

They come (oops) in all shapes and sizes and at most times of the night - and day.

Couples caught in my headlights in flagrante may inadvertently practice interuptus, when I turn into the drive behind their car on my way home at night.

Some get more than they bargained for when the dog bounds enthusiastically up to a bouncing car and barks through the window first thing in the morning.

My reaction to their action depends entirely on my mood and time schedule.

On Sunday afternoons, I usually suggest they don't even pass first post due to the number of horse riders that use the track that goes past my cottage - the back of a horse offers a splendid view of a bit of horseplay.

Sometimes, I'm gentle and start with a couple of flashes of my headlights or a little parp - parp of the car horn, at other times a long loud blast is the first and only warning they get.

Visiting friends have told of other methods of alerting the unsuspecting lovers, such as shouting:
"Police!... You're surrounded, come out with your trousers down and your hands up"

Or creeping up and rocking a busy car violently from side to side.

Two memories will remain with me for ever:

One couple were regulars early on Wednesday mornings - he always kept his trilby style hat on which could be seen bobbling up and down at a jaunty angle.

One Saturday afternoon a plump lady in a nurse's uniform was reclined in the passenger seat, while her partner wooed her. They didn't hear my car as I tried to drive past, so I wound down the window, and tapped on the driver's door. The man wound down his window and looked directly at me.....

" Excuse me." I said in a rather haughty manner,
"This is my driveway. How would you like it if I parked in your front garden and shagged my lover?"
"Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't realise" he replied.
"That's OK" I said as I drove on by !!!

Those that enjoy their illicit pleasures without disturbance often leave a range of gifts.
On Friday mornings for several weeks in a row there were four empty cans of Stella, an empty packet of 10 Marlborough fags and the contents of a packet of three. (Boasting but safe I'd say.)

I often wonder if there are any children out there called Bridleway, Track or Whooops.

I'm sure this couple had a Blue WKD time.

Lucky things!!

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