Good news/Bad news

Good news: Cracked the coffee granules....

Bad news: Have to do something, keep putting it off - The more I put it off the worse it gets, the worse it gets the more I want to put it off...

How can I do what is right when I am this terrified of doing it? How do you pluck up the courage to do something you know will upset you, how do you face upto it - I can't keep going without seeing them, it's slowly but surely tearing me apart - But by seeing them it will cause a lot of back biting and (unfortunately moaning about me in their general direction - Which can't be good for them). All I want is what is best for them, just don't know what that is yet...

From my point of view it's a double edged sword - I could easily run away as seeing them makes me feel awful when I have to say "Bye", the hurt starts all over again - But not seeing them is horrible - I have lost enough why should I lose them?