Off The Rails

The Metro lines on another wonderfully warm day. While riding the rails, I was lucky enough to get acquainted with a modern relative of the bus-nutter; the tram-nutter.

TRAM-NUTTER: Three bags full, sir!
ME: ...Hello.
TRAM-NUTTER: [Pointing at the book I'm holding] Is it good?
ME: A literary delight.
TRAM-NUTTER: Ah read the Boible, ah do.
ME: Oh God.
TRAM-NUTTER: Ar, he's in it. Iss all comin true, ay it?

At this point, I feel I should have pointed over his shoulder and shouted something like Look! It's a woman upon a scarlet-coloured beast, full of names of blasphemy, having seven heads and ten horns!

Sadly, I didn't.