Cushions, Camels and Keys Cut...

Well, I can report some success on the car insurance front. The company that has Red Telephones will insure the Untouchables Antipodeans! I will be changing my car insurance company forthwith. I can also report that a new sim card is winging its way to me, so those nasty companies will have to find some other sucker to send their text messages to. And they will.

Cheered by my unexpected successes, I took a turn out in the sunshine to return my spare house keys to Uncle A. I say RETURN them, as I had to use them this week... I found myself, not for the first time - and it may be age-related - LOCKED OUT!

It was too painful to relate at the time. It happened when I came home, weary, after My Day with Leo. I was faced with a 20 minute walk downhill to my uncle's flat, then a 20 minute walk uphill (he DID offer to drive me home, but I heard myself declining the offer). This meant that from door to door, I had been out of the house for 12 hours! So much for being a 'Lady of Leisure'!

It will NOT happen again. New spare keys were cut by this nice man, Mark. I asked to take his photo. I paid him. It cost me £18 this time, but I did get some useful keys included in that price. They are now distributed around the neighbourhood.

Yesterday, Uncle A had been on one of his walks, and passed a Man of Nodding Acquaintance, who this time engaged him in conversation. Turns out, the Man of Nodding Acquaintance was Albert Morris. Edinburghers of a certain age will remember him for his pithy articles for decades in the local rag, the Hootsmon. His articles are still available online to read, and are very very funny. If you have the time/inclination they are worth a read/re-read. I recommend you start with number 3 about the wig. If you don't fall about laughing at that one, well, I don't know...

I asked Uncle A about the origin of the elephant cushions, as emhowl had admired them.

In 1949 Uncle A was in Egypt, waiting to be de-mobbed. On the last night, a pal and he went into Port Said to look for some souvenirs to take home, and in the 'Harry Lauder Experience' (TRUE!) Uncle A bought some nice cushion covers with camels on. These were used for decades, but eventually fell apart and were discarded.

I was waiting for the exciting climax, hoping - nay - expecting to hear that he then travelled over land and sea to Port Said again to find the same Harry Lauder Shop and replace them, albeit with a different animal, but ...

... he actually got these relatively recently in Au Natural at Ocean Terminal in Edinburgh. They reminded him of the camel ones!

However, his wee pal from Fife did NOT buy some nice cushion covers to take home. No! HE bought a wee bottle of dubious pills that were apparently a well-known aphrodisiac, and possibly not at that time available in Freuchie. The wee Fifer intended to try them out (individually) on the girls in the factory in his village! Nice chap.

But the story doesn't end there. As they arrived in Liverpool, they were all assembled and lectured on what they could, but mainly what they couldn't, bring in. If they were caught with something NOT ALLOWED, they'd be FOR IT! The wee Fifer threw his bottle of pills overboard! Freuchie girls' honours saved!

But I won't be able to look at those elephant cushions the same way again...