"Do we have The Hobbit on book?"

Dear Heart,
Jittery today, and my ankles are swollen from too much trampolining. Tomorrow I should rest from it, but the only thing that seems to temporarily soothe the flightiness in my chest is bouncing to loud music.
Tears come to my eyes for the smallest reason. We were telling Pa the ending of Birdsong, about the boys getting stuck behind the barbed wire, and I started to cry. I watched it months ago! There was too much noise at the table, and as there were Easter gifts taking up three of the chairs my parents decided to eat in the living room. I wanted them there to calm things, and I welled up again. Again during Bride and Prejudice (of all things!) and again at the news. There's been a shooting at a college in California. I don't know anyone who lives remotely near, but all the same I can't sleep.
I don't want to be like this forever. Everything hurts, cuts too deep.
Love, Lydia x