Anvil Metal on Metal

Anvil 'Metal on Metal' (Attic 1984)

'Anvil! The story of Anvil' is a genuinely lovely film. It's a story of facing adversity and chasing a dream. It's a love story about two pretty average guys who think their music can change the world. It's a truly moving document of struggling to make a living out of the only thing you have a passion for and trying to do it with your best friend in the world. It really brings a lump to my throat and a tear to my eye when I watch it.

It's also a hilarious documentary featuring two of the most deluded and amusing characters you are ever likely to encounter. This is a band that has fallen from grace, but really who were they trying to fool?

They may have played on the same bill as Bon Jovi in Japan in 1984, but you cannot expect to become a world dominating behemoth of pop metal if you play straight up heavy metal and you look like four tarmac layers from Toronto. There is a reason why my sister and millions of other women love Bon Jovi and that is five foot four of pure sex. There is a reason why they don't love Anvil, it's because they wore bondage gear and played their guitars with dildos. You do not see Jon or Richie doing that, do you?

This was purchased after I saw the film. Danny and I went to see Partick Thistle's opening game of the season in Kirkcaldy, where the Jags were comprehensively beaten by sad jowly chimp face's team. Or Gordon Brown as you may know him. Prior to the game we were drinking a nice glass of Pimms with our Kaliber chasers in the 'Penny Farthing' and I mentioned a record shop I had noticed nearby. We ventured in, expecting nothing, and I was faced with another Vinyl Villains 'Metal Section Moment'!

It was amazing, record after record of classic metal and thrash metal. Including bona fide classics like Celtic Frost's 'Morbid Tales', which was quickly purchased for Finch (another great thing about collecting records is you know which ones your mates want, it's almost as satisfying as buying for yourself). However, the best thing about the whole place was everything was half price. Every single piece of vinyl in the shop was half price. Absolute bliss.

We went to the football heavily burdened by metal and the odd hip hop record and the stewards cared not a jot. Although I was tempted at some points to assault a Raith player, 'Shaun of the Dead' style, with some vinyl, it never happened.

This LP is brilliantly produced, the music, which at times is like Twisted Sister meets early Motley Crue, without any pretty boy nonsense, really jumps out of the speakers. It's a bit like what I imagined Angel Witch would sound like; good fun heavy metal with element of proto thrash.

There's a lot of very dodgy sexual innuendo on this LP, creepy back stage stalker anthem 'Stop Me' is almost cartoonish and really not threatening, but the relentless 'nudge nudge, wink wink' gets a bit much by the time you get to '(Don't Just) Tease Me, Please Me'.

The musicianship is quality and there is great drumming throughout, particularly evident on 'Heatsink', another paean to Lips' 'heated tool', and 'Mothra' is a very good NWOBHM influenced metal stomper with a nice choral Black Sabbath 'Supertzar' section. The album ends in fine form with the double bass drum driven, knocking on the door of thrash metal, '666'.

A mixed bag which is enjoyable even with all its faults, particularly when you know the backstory provided so elegantly by their biopic.

Thanks to Fraser, the best silversmith known to man and the proprietor of 'The Highland Emporium' (soft play free for kids on Sundays), for the suitably metal location for today's photo.

Peace