I feel that this photo goes well with how my life is at the moment...
Chaotic...speeding...feeling disconnected from perspective and reality...abstract and surreal...and of course the most important descriptor -- totally 'effed up...

I haven't blipped these past few days mostly because I've been out trying to avoid my own thoughts. Thursday all the effort from earlier in the year was made rather pointless. Em and I broke up again...so much for making it work out. She'll be leaving this fall for five years to study abroad; one of the reasons cited. Her needing to be fully independent being the other. It's hard when you talk about the future, and you can see years down the line, but thinking about how one would get there is terrifying. I guess I didn't exactly stop to think about the getting there part vs the being there part...and being there is far too many years away. The end of a chapter...only to start a new one bruised and broken. I'm very fortunate to have my friends here...they've all be more than kind. (Props to the big bottle of Bombay Sapphire in my freezer too, your solace is appreciated..)

I'll do what I can to keep my blips up to date... About a month ago I took Monday and Tuesday off. I didn't quite expect events to transcend the way they did, so I'm very glad that at least there's two more days to by "weekend".

You should have see my "game face". I was impressed how well it worked in the office...keeping a smile for hours afterward. It's all perception. I'm sure my eyes still gave it away...After all, she didn't call me Helen for nothing.