Ouchie...

Well... I got off this morning... shaved a little off Sexy Sylvia my sat nav. I fear there's a bit of a rant coming... prepare yourself. Apologies in advance if I swear!

Middle lane drivers.

There are hundreds of the fuckers. All of whom, without exception were middle aged men. Not one woman. Not one bloke under the age of 45 (and I'm being generous I think) and all of them driving along, unnecessarily in the middle lane. Sorry for my blanket generalisation but really... there are three lanes, when the inside lane is empty, USE it!! Don't sit in the middle lane, licking the window, having a good old howk at your beak. We can see you. Those windows, you know the ones you look out of? They are two way windows most of the time. Stop it. It's unattractive and not an audience event.

There's no need to be sitting in the middle lane, even if there is a car in the inside two miles ahead, move back in. Cars have indicators and the ability to steer for a reason. Shift your middle aged ass back into the inside lane once you've finished overtaking the person in the left hand lane. The motorway is just another road. If you were on a single lane road and you overtook, you wouldn't be hanging about in the right hand lane now would you. Do what you need to do and bring the whole manoeuvre to a safe conclusion by getting the fuck out of my way. :O)

And caravans... you belong in the inside land. Should you feel the need to overtake, don't do it going up a hill!

So I'm driving along, with the journey jelly babies - this has become a bit of a tradition, I'm not sure why but when I do a big drive, I have journey jelly babies. The reason I bring this up is that today, the journey jelly babies were exceptionally good. Even the green ones were good. I don't usually eat green sweeties, again I have no idea why. Singing along to Imedla May and some Keane and three hours were past before I noticed. I like a big drive. I was thinking that it was my brother's birthday today and he managed to miss the ferry in Newcastle. See... pays to be CDO with the travel arrangements... I've never missed anything in my life! Transport wise that is. Did I mention that I'm the best singer there ever was when I'm in the car? I am. It's awesome.

Couldn't just manage to get here without incident though... as I'm minding my own business, biting off heads between platinum albums and a lorry went past and threw up what I can only describe as a rock. It made me wince when it hit but I couldn't see a chip. Until I parked outside Sarah's house and there you see the bloody great crack in my windscreen! Great, that'll be a sixty quid excess and a hang around on Monday to wait for Autoglass to turn up and replace my windscreen. Oh joy... I do not want to spend any more dosh on my car this week please. I want to get drunk, relax and have a giggle.

/Rant over.

We went to the pub this afternoon... well you know, rude not to. We've had a curry and I had some CHOCOLATE! I don't care if lent is finished or not... it's Easter and I've not eaten chocolate for far too long so I indulged and oh my giddy aunt... it was AMAZING!

Now Sarah and I are watching TV, we just watched Ocean's Twelve... I think I've seen Eleven but apparently there's a thirteen too. You know when you watch a movie and when the adverts are really loud I hate adverts and the remote control is on the other side of the sofa, neither of us can be bothered getting up and I think we may be giving the pub next door a run for their money and now it's got blaringly (is that even a word?!) decibellious (I know that's not a word but I quite like it) so Sarah got up to rake for the remote and I appear to be sitting on it. Oops!

I think maybe I should go to bed soon. We might go to the shoe place tomorrow. And I knew I'd forget something... hair dye! Doh!

The only saving grace with this photo is the reflection of the chimney pots!