So Much Change

The need for sleep delaying the posting of Friday's blip...this now officially a 'backblip'.

The dream hung on after waking this morning. Something humorous about it. Something I had to think about in order to understand. Beginning the day after Thanksgiving, Mother Comfort's life and ours began a series of changes and every day, new decisions being made and steps taken toward the best long term plan for her care as she was no longer able to stay alone.

Her beloved Pepsi, always at the front of her mind, living alone in her house with daily visits from the dreaded "kids" who she only knew as her feeders and didn't care for much, was finally becoming friends with Paul and Annie which relieved Mother Comfort's mind greatly. She had seen reconciliation among family members, as well, that were so important to her, and in many ways she felt her work was done and talked about it often.

By this time, our home reflects the changes and planning and furniture moving and boxes here and there and, and, and...while her home reflects the preparation for an estate sale and change, change, change.

In the middle of all of this, we ask God to guide us and our decisions carefully, and we accept that He is changing us by His glory every day too. We recently sang a song at church called "I will change Your Name" by DJ Butler, which is based on Isaiah 62:2 (NKJV) The Gentiles shall see your righteousness, And all kings your glory. You shall be called by a new name, Which the mouth of the Lord will name.

I'm getting to the humorous part, really I am...

The song goes like this: I will change your name, you shall no longer be called wounded, outcast, lonely or afraid. I will change your name, your new name shall be confidence, joyfulness, overcoming one, faithfulness, friend of God, one who seeks My face.

Well, with all the change and this song bouncing around in my mind, and after being awake for approx. 36 hours, when I slept, I dreamt (spell check says that isn't a word, but it sounds best to me). In my dream, there were several people from our church (actually I didn't recognize them, but I knew they were supposed to be from there in the dream) and a lot of furniture that kept being moved. I went looking for Paul and he was wearing a shirt that said "Bob" on it. When I asked why, he told me who gave him the shirt and said he had to wear it when he sang Sunday.

I went to find the person and when I did (I think this dream will also tell you I have little pent up frustration that needed vent...) I zipped a little tent over his head and I yelled down into the tent, "what were you thinking?????? His name isn't Bob!! I don't want him to wear a shirt with Bob on it!!" The person (who I didn't actually recognize) sheepishly said he was sorry. Moments later his mother (who I also didn't recognize...I think it's easier to yell at strangers sometimes, even in our dreams!) came up to me and yelled at me and told me that I should leave her son alone, so I told her why I was angry. She said that we were SUPPOSED to change our names and reminded me of the song we had just sung. Then, feeling a little like Lucy on the Peanuts cartoon, I yelled That's not what that song means!!! It's not talking about your literal name, it's talking about your character and the gifts and blessing of the Lord...I am NOT CALLING HIM BOB!!

Just then the phone rang (thank you, sister, I think I needed an escape from that dream). It wasn't until I woke up a bit and recalled the dream that it really struck me funny. After telling Paul the dream, he later appeared in the room with a sticker on his shirt that said...you guessed it...B O B.

Well, Mother Comfort still clings to life, but is pretty far away at this point. She is comfortable and they are giving her everything she needs so that she will not be in pain. She really couldn't even begin to tolerate it, and clearly wanted nothing to do with it. We have shared some tears with each other and are trying to get our hearts around not getting to bring her home. I heard myself referring to our guest room as "your mom's room" this morning and realize that this experience has changed how I see my home and will continue to mold and shape our lives as we move on making even more new plans to figure out where to go from here.

For now, we are content knowing that the entire thing is changing our lives and we pray that we will be able to be a blessing to others for years to come and that anyone who stays in Mother Comfort's room will know that they are very loved indeed.