Candles in the wind

Evolution or Revolution. My lungs are Revolting and discontinuing their Evolution. As a quincequonce I am back on all sorts of anti-bug things. There is another way, or so I am informed.

My brother and sister in law are born again Essex, so they are praying their socks and convertibles off. My other sister in law is praying by waving her arms like a praying mantis on speed and calling on the old bloke to help me out. My mother, all 5'2" of her with her 58DD is not only praying, she is also possibly about to be charged with arson, having lit 200 candles on her windowsill. The resulting callout of the emergency services was spectacular. Rarely have six firemen had to fight off a raging Irish granny who was in the middle of spiritual communication on behalf of her eldest son and disliked the connection being disturbed by a six inch diameter jet of cold water.