Trespass

and we shall club the skanger out of you.

Say what you want, these old time burglar alarms, they had some panache.

And they had the advantage of not going off at 9.30am on a windy Bank Holiday Saturday morning with no means of contacting the owners who shall be hung from the faulty alarm by their small intestine by an angry mob of neighbours driven demented by three days of the 20 minutes on 20 minutes off piercing shriek cycle.

The following appeal is a long shot. But long shots reach distant targets.
My mate Joe is understandably distressed following the theft of his Les Paul guitar. Someone somewhere will try to sell it in the coming months.
The reward is a weekend caravaning in County Mayo in February with my three kids.