A mixed mind

I stand here
In a place I've stood before
Looking out into the dark
Will it ever be more?

For I see what I want
And believe in what I feel
Words being whispered around
The repetition of what is unreal

For I look around
I wander in much thought
I know I'm alone
And not one have I sought

I close my eyes to see
What it is that really is me
The answer seems to be sheltered
There is no answer to be

I grab each hand I find
I hold it hard and close
But each finger lifts in release
I'm trying too hard for most

Alone is where I stand
Toes so deep in sand
I'm sinking so slowly, its sick
But I've gotten myself in a trick

I close my ears to whispers
And believe what really is there
I close my eyes to tales
Feeling will only make it clear

I have not felt
For too long I say
I have not loved
In my way

For I take a journey and see
The beauty surrounding me
Maybe being alone isn't the problem
It's the ones that I have carry me

I get weak at moments I know
And all my knowledge is snowed
Just the thought of being safe
I go wherever the wind blows