Wax and polish...

The Child is never quiet...
She has taken to telling me stories in the car.

The Child: Old lady, can I tell you a story?
Me: If you like, but not one of your "and they all got married and had umpteen children and lived happily every after" stories. And not one that's too long either.
The Child: Ok, once upon a time,...
Me: It *is* one of those all live happy ever after, things! I knew it!
The Child: Oh, please be quiet, you daft woman, it isn't. Listen. Once upon a time, there was a murderer, and he went to murder a lady, but he fell in love with her, so he mercied her.
Me: He whatted her? Oh, yes, I see what you mean. He showed her, mercy, you show mercy in English.
The Child: After he showed her mercy, she fell in love back and he didn't want to tell her he was a murderer, so when she asked him what his job was, he told her that he was a postman and it wasn't lying really, because that was his hobby.
Me: A murderer who's a postman as a hobby...Should I be worrying about you, little Childy Beast?
The Child: Moving on... [now where did *that* come from?] But one day, she asked him if he had a nice day at work and he didn't want to say he'd been taking letters, when he'd been out being a murderer, so he told her the truth and she told him she never wanted to see him again and he was so sad, he jumped off a big cliff and died.
Me: [not expecting that twist in the plot and not knowing what to say] Oh, that's sad.
The Child: Yes, and when she found out, she was so sad, she got a big knife and stuck it into her heart and she died. The end. Oh except they were dinosaurs, that's how they got extinct [giggles]
Me: Erm, yes. Well that's a not a happy ever after story, is it?
The Child: No, Old Lady, it's a happy never after one...

She kept to the brief: short and no happy every after...
(Her three fave car tunes for today):

"I really like this, all that bass-ness..."
"Can we have him doing Madeline now? I'm going to learn to play this..."
"I love this! It's like Kraftwerk in Chinese!"