Sanguine

Sanguine |?saNGgwin|
adjective
1 optimistic or positive, esp. in an apparently bad or difficult situation:



As I stepped from the shower this morning I was confronted by a very shaky Mrs Booty who had a confession to make. She wouldn't wait until I got into my priest's robes or her into a nun's habit; instead she launched into a soliloquy about how sorry she was to have damaged the car, scraping it along a metal pole and removing the bumper and on and on. It sounded as if she'd gone into a head on skirmish with a main battle tank.

Further inspection, once dressed, showed that she had in fact been rather lucky. Close examination showed that what looks like the ruination of the car paint is in fact the gray top coat and red oxide undercoat of the steel pole she had encountered as she avoided a collision with a milk delivery wagon. Removal involved about 30 seconds of rubbing with a cloth lightly dipped in Brasso. Brasso is a soft abrasive, as opposed to steel wool which can cause a rash if used in the bath. So, no damage done whatsoever, Mrs booty is absolutely delighted and relieved. She wasn't hurt, a car is a lump of insensitive metal and plastic so even if she had written it off, as long as she is well, who cares?

A lesson for those aggressive Silverback male - got to get there yesterday - drivers; a smile inducing tale for the ladies out there. Read on.

Mrs Booty was tail ended at a large roundabout in Truro. She moved her car to the side of the road and indicated to the burly chap driving offensively to do the same. As she examined the damage to her car he began blustering, insisting she had caused him to drive into her because of her erratic driving. At this point he became aware of a rather strange gathering behind him. The 30 - 40 Police officers, all in uniform, whom Mrs Booty had just been teaching were listening rather intently to the one sided conversation. Mrs Booty was meanwhile making a note of his vehicle registration, tax disc etc. It was at this point that he realised the main Nick was across the road. One of the students, a rather huge chap, asked, "You OK Mrs Booty, do you need any help?" He was relieved to hear her reply that once she had extracted the by now blubbering fool's name and insurance details she was certain all would be hunky dory and that she would be able to continue their training period after lunch. The now less than burly pain in the rectum handed over everything, apologised profusely, accepted full liability, in front of several very worthy witnesses and was allowed to continue on his crumpled way - having been advised by Mrs Booty that just the previous day she had been commended by the police driving examiner on her driving skills.

Ladies, stand up for yourselves, don't be intimidated. A huge smile at the wheel thumping dinosaur kills him! Always use your camera phone, do not get into an argument, keep calm, use the phone as your intimidation, you are collecting YOUR evidence. If the idiot utters anything resembling a physical threat or refuses to tell you his details call the nice folks in the Battenburg cars, that's what they do best. You can almost see his penis shrinking when they arrive. Keep that mental image!!