(cookie)stacks.

internet remains elusive at work. another day waiting for the siren song of AT&T that did not come.

but we did bring in a new batch of ged students.

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i used to be a worrier. a couple of failed relationships and a 4500 mile bike ride later, and there's really only one thing I worry about anymore.

and it's in direct violation of my "don't worry about things you are powerless to change" rule. you can't make anybody do anything, and you can't change people. most of the time I wouldn't want to do either, anyway.

why do we worry about the consequences of actions we have not dared to take? the human being is such an interesting creature because it can be ruled by the changing nature of the heart as much as the logical processes of the brain.

we think we know what we want. we boil it down to absolutes that will solve problems and fill in blanks. complete this section of the life form, please.

we overcomplicate it, muss up the facts and the feelings, put square pegs in round holes - because it is so simple. we all want to be understood deeply, by best friends and family, but most primally by a partner in all things. someone to get in and out of trouble with.

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i am a brave girl. i have broken arms, bruised knees, fallen down, and pushed limits and seen the edge of my own abilities a few times.

which begs the question, why am i unable to extend that into these other areas of life? why am i busy worrying instead of doing?