Healing.

I know from what you can see here it doesn't look like it. But yesterday I realised I don't need self harm. I just don't need it. These are scarring now, and they are from a week ago. I realised I don't need it, because I managed 17 months through so much shit. So so so much shit, with my ex girlfriend, and I didn't cut once.

My best friends mean more to me than the stupid niggling pain that comes with cutting, It hurts them knowing they can't help me. So i'm getting out of this hole i've ended up in. All this crap has wound down to be nothing, so there's no use ruining myself when I could be cheering myself up.

The quote, is from 'Into the Wild' one of my absolute favourite movies. I felt mental and ill yesterday, like I was losing it. Today, I just can't wait to see Jessaaaa and Lesley when they finish school!

I'm excluded from school at the minute, until monday, it's boring at home, but it does mean I can blip earlier in the day. Hurrah! I cleared out alot of my room yesterday, the clutter is stressing me out, I think it's part of the depression thing. It makes me scared and uncomfortable, panicky even, just knowing there's too much shite cluttering my room. But i'm goingto get better. Never been more determined to do so.

"Happiness is only real when shared"

I love this quote because it's so true. Distancing yourself makes everything worse, and then you realise how alone you've become, just like Chris did when he went into the wild. Only, i'm not going to die out here, in this wild i've created for myself, not like he did. I'm getting out now. I've missed being happy.

Happy blipping!

~

We are the people, that rule the world.