Mum.

This is my mum. I'm pretty sure a while back I promised myself i'd never blip my family. But that's because i'm nasty in that sense.

Bethan's at work today, as it's Saturday. She works in Wylam Spar shop, she hates it there, but she gets paid, which these days is really all that matters. I'm getting a job at Wylam garden centre this summer, which should be good.

Dad's buying me new shoes because my favourite Vans broke. Honestly those shoes have featured in many a blip, and I love them so dearly. It really is a shame.

Callum's coming over today at some point, that should be good. Nice to see him I think.

Last night wasn't good. It wasn't good at all. I need to regain control of my mind. Night takes my sanity away and I become this monster. I keep scaring Callum and I can't even help it. Sigh.

I might be seeing Bethan tomorrow! I can't wait. I don't even know why, it's just been so so long since i've held her and kissed her nose and forehead, made sure she was okay, and tickled her little tummy. We'll lie in her bed and roll about the place dancing to the stupid cd's that I plan to take with me. I love her, it's so strange but after a while I get ill without her.

It's marginally sunny today and the feeling of warmth is more an illusion than it is anything else.

~

I wish that she had either cared for me or let me be,
but she chased me from my mind and from my home.
I've had many different girls inside my bed,
but only one or two, inside my head.
But oh, what i would give, not to stumble,
but to really fall in love.