Text conversation :
Mez: Beer has inspired meme!
Moi: This is a meme for me, right? If I decided to carry on?
Mez: Carry on Dued! Featuring special guest Sid James channeller - MEZ!

Mez, you are more than a special guest, you are the Dued. xxx


UNDER - a beer-inspired meme...

1. Underground.
This brings to mind several things. The only Jam single I ever bought was Going Underground; I am not often up to date with what people are listening to - something that got worse with living here, I suppose, and I generally tend to like a band so much more once they have split, or a vital component has shot themselves or choked on their own vomit...Are you never going to make another record and will it all be acrimonious? Are you dead and is there mourning on a national scale...? Well, I'll be the one quietly purchasing your back catalogue on iTunes, having discovered a deep and abiding love for everything you ever did...
Underground of course means The Tube (did any of you watch it? Oh, it was glorious...train p0rn, but better - TUBE train p0rn). I love the London underground with a passion that is strange, given my sheer terror of crowds and inability to use an escalator without getting into a total panic - once causing several people to fall over at Blackhorse Road, I believe it was, whilst wrangling smallest sister and a fold away pushchair, but that's another story. One whiff of a train leaving Liverpool Street tube station and I am all gooey inside. Strangely enough, no other train lines smell as good as the Central...

2. Under par.
I am. Decidedly so. But I have to leave the golfing metaphors there, I'm afraid; golf is not the game for me. We could retitle this, Under the Table. It's where I go when I am feeling under par, when I don't want the world any more, when I am upset or sad, if things are bothering me to such an extent that my head is buzzing with them and I can't bear to have to think over the static going on in there. I have two stages: hoodie and then table with hoodie. I sit under there, in total discomfort (it's a small table), in the hope that nothing and no one will find me. At the moment, I am trying very hard not to, so in an effort to be proactive, the broken printer has been placed under there alongside my personal office rubbish bin (ice cream wrappers, mainly) and the sewing machine I will probably never even learn to use, making space very restricted indeed. This leaves me the hoodie...well, it's too early for getting rid of that, I'm afraid.
I also delete things when under par and be-hooded. I have been thinking about it. Again. But I keep finding things I might want to post. Perhaps I was better in my own little corner of the bliposphere, just posting a snap every day, not really interacting with anyone and generally keeping myself to myself, which kind of defeats the object of the exercise, doesn't it? I don't know. I am leaving comments on for the time being, I 'm just not sure if I am up to answering them or of even making any myself.

3. Under anaesthetic-
I have only ever had local anaesthetic. At the dentist. And once in my eye. I don't think I am missing out on much. Local anaesthetic usually makes me ill. I had it after The Child was born. The only blimmin drugs they gave me! After (and I am NOT telling you where they put the needle... *acute wince*). Sorry to harp on, but birth was not a fun experience: I wanted drugs, they gave me...smiles and encouragement and came at me with some awful tool that looked like a jumbo crochet hook.
The eye one was cool, though. As are the ones in the mouth. I can never quite get over the feeling of someone grubbling around inside a tooth or gum, or even my eyeball - fool that I was, I managed to get lumps of eye pencil stuck under my eyelid - while I can't feel any pain, just the grubbling. Sometimes, I wish the whole of my life was like that. Or am I thinking about more poetic, hallucinogenic scenes from Trainspotting?

4. Under-estimated
I could go to town on my underestimations of the world, people in general and life, the universe and everything. I won't though. It's not the right day for uncomfortable introspection, even though the sun is shining...
I will say one thing, though, the one constant in my underestimations is always myself.

5. Ander which sounds like Under but is different.
Ander sounds like Under if, like me, you come from sunny Essex! Just throw in a couple more "a's" and flatten them...I should say, at this point, dear Mez, that I know not what to do with this Q, but I love you dearly for saying that it didn't matter what I put because one of the things that you love about me is my "otherness." Yes, that's what "ander," means: "other". And I am glad you like that about me, because you are that way too - a stronger, cheerier version, though. I also like the way you are spookily in my head - ok, not all the time, but sometimes, it is what's needed: someone who just knows what I am thinking and who gets it, before I've even finished thinking it! Saves a lot on the apologies after! Seriously, though, that's you. Thank you for the questions and for being such a downright excellent friend, Dued. xxx



A Tom