My boy

Jaan is 4,5 years old.
We have quite a complicated relationship.
I have a feeling he sees right through me, during these moments I want to be left alone, the moments I am tired and want some peace, the moments when I have no idea how to talk to him, how to approach him.
Every day we have moments of great closeness where I feel the utmost understanding between us and then there are moments of great distance, which feel like a milion lightyears.
He loves drawing, robots, cartoons, weapons, Legos, books, teasing and caring for her little sister, sweets, his bycicle, arguing with his father and me, good companion and visiting and talking to other people.
He made a new friend- an 8year-old girl. They have been playing together for 3 days now. She lives in the next house and right now Jaan has been outside alone for 2 hours waiting for her to come home from school. He refuses to come inside- maybe he shall miss her coming home.
He is so adorable, is it his first crush?

When everything is quiet- it is a sign of trouble- he is probably up to something. he is not a hyperactive noisy boy, he is a constant troublemaker in his own quiet way.
After being caught he says right away that he is SO SORRY and he shall NEVER do it again, only to be left alone to start some new trouble project :D

He has a rebellious spark in his eye all the time.
I can see him standing bravely against an army of enemies holding a sword and yelling FREEEDOOM!!!!!!