Breakthrough

Today was a pretty amazing day for me. Long story short, but I took a big step in getting over some fears I've developed of riding lately.
Last spring on a horse I leased I got run away with, and then on my horse Soldier a few months ago I fell off pretty violently. Before these experiences I had jumped a little, and basically not been aware of real fear on a horse. Healthy fear, yes, but not the debilitating kind. After my fall on Soldier, I experienced that. I was honestly just getting worse the last feel months. I've been taking lessons and trying to work on it, but it's been getting to the point where I just freeze. I honestly didn't know if I'd ever be ok on a horse again.
Luckily, I've been blessed to board at a barn with the greatest people I know. They know how I feel and have been helping me way beyond the call of duty. The owner has been letting me ride her (very short) horses to try to get my confidence back. Two friends of mine that are really good riders have been schooling Soldier for me and he has really improved.
Today I had a lesson and rode Lori's little Quarter Horse Slick. He is retired but he was a pretty amazing reiner and he was so safe and responsive. I was on Slick, with everyone up at the barn letting me borrow a better helmet, different reins, it was like a huge team effort.
I rode Slick without stirrups and just made myself relax and it was soooo hard and scary. But I got better and eventually cantered--something I haven't done since I got run away with. All the barn people were watching and cheering me on and clapping becuase they knew it was a big deal. And it might sound silly, but it WAS a big breakthrough. I didn't know if I'd ever get to this point again.
I still have a lot of work to do and I can't imagine cantering Soldier...I'm still scared. But it means so much to have people that care and to do something I love again.