Identity theft as Tussauds unveils latest waxwork

If Her Majesty is finding all the fuss over the diamond jubilee a little tiresome, she may wish to reflect on the ordeal of her newest doppelganger.

Not only did her latest waxwork likeness suffer weeks of having real human hairs individually implanted in her head, she also had to endure the discomfort of having a pair of acrylic eyes burnt into her ceraceous countenance. The completed effigy, which took 20 people four months to make and cost £150,000, is likely to prove the attraction's biggest crowd-puller as visitors pile into London for the jubilee celebrations and the Olympic Games.

A spokesman said at the unveiling, "Bugger. Someone's nicked her 'ead, and left a bag o' carrots' instead!"