Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue

Ladies.
Save money on Purple eyeshadow this festive season by getting your badminton opponent to hit you straight on the eyelid with a shuttlecock. Preferably both eyes so you will at least be symmetrical.
Arrange to have a cold at the same time, as I have, and you will also have hideous red eye lids and matching streaming nose.
This exceptionally unattractive combination will do wonders for your self esteem at all those pre Christmas parties, and send small children running away screaming.
Never mind never mind, time will heal.

P. S. My eyes aren't brown they're sort of greenish with brown splodges in them but I couldn't find any song titles with the words 'Don't it make my greenish with brown splodges eyes purple'