A difficult christmas 1982

Christmas past - at thirty

Christmas remained unproblematic as I grew up and was at university. But the familiar picture I painted yesterday was changing as I entered adulthood. Grandparents were sadly getting very old and also had all passed away by the time my university years finished in late 1970s. My brother had married and had two young children and in 1980 I had married and in September 1981 had had my daughter. So the family dynamics were changing. New in-laws complicated Christmas and it became more of a bid process to stage christmas at your house or a long trek to go to my parents or my brother's. Once such decisions had been negotiated the day itself largely followed old patterns but my parents becoming the senior citizens present to keep the peace and manage the rules of Brains!

1982 should have been a great year for me. H was growing up, my wife was pregnant with my son and I got a new job which would take me to Sheffield and to a challenging new world I still occupy. I was within a week of my leaving do when in a cruel twist of fate I was diagnosed with testicular Cancer. It was a difficult time. Instead of starting my new job or looking after H I was in Western Park Hospital having radiotherapy.

Christmas '82 arrived and I was in the middle of treatment. I was allowed to leave the hospital on Christmas Day and travelled to my brother's house in Cambridge. I was not well and for once in my life I could not eat the turkey, in fact the smell was just too rich for me. I had a small Turkey sandwich and sat forlornly in the corner. The blip is one of me sitting with my daughter and probably wondering what the future might hold. If Cancer has terrible connotations today imagine 1982! I suppose too it was the first time in my life I had had to face such a difficult future. I believe that the security and love given by my parents during my early life helped me cope with this situation. As it proved I had a curable Cancer and after four hard months of treatment I was at my new job before my son was born in May 1983.

Christmas had been a time for renewal, restoration and revelling and now it was also a reminder of potential disaster. Though unconvinced for many years that I would survive, I did do so and as a parent I now had a different responsibility for ensuring christmas was a great experience for my new family. More moments to share on that tomorrow.