Christmas Eve

Tried and tried and tried to get 'that photo' of the kids but out of a large selection this was probably the best!! Got a lot to learn about low light / flash photography.

Today has been about Henry. This is the second year we have decided not to visit his grave on Christmas day but to go on Christmas Eve instead. We feel that whilst Henry will still always be in our thoughts on Christmas day, that tomorrow has to be about Toby and Eva. I would never want them to resent going to his grave and making time for us all to think and talk about him and it would be hard for them to understand being dragged away from their Christmas presents to go there. And it would be rushed. Its so desperately sad being there that we feel drained for the rest of the day - and Christmas day with two little people requires lots of energy! But I still feel guilty. I hope he understands. 

It is still so hard wondering what he would look like now and what he would have put on his letter to Santa. He would be nearly six now - such a magical age at Christmas. 

We made him a lovely wreath and Christmas card and the kids made some decorations to hang on his tree. Eva talked lots about him - said she wanted to ring him. How lovely would it be if we could dial up our loved ones in heaven. She became very cuddly and said she missed him. 

When we got home we all snuggled on the sofa and watched Frozen yet again. Its such a lovely film. 

A happy end to a sad day.

Merry Christmas all xx